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Making Money $150 An Hour

1.) Just because you appreciate someone and they appreciate you, and you’re attracted to each other, that’s clearly not “enough.” I know, that’s a truism. Read 2.

2.) It really sucks to be with a person who appreciates genuine qualities of yours that you don’t really care about that much. For example:

For a while, I dated girls that were attracted to me because of my intellect and education. Though these qualities may have made me attractive to these ladies, they aren’t the qualities I appreciate most about myself. The end result: when I would display characteristics of my personality that I value the most (compassion, desire to help people, etc.) it would go completely uncelebrated and unrecognized. When you combine the two, it would end up with me helping the girl with her homework, etc. But, of course, she’s just appreciating my intelligence, not my help. End result – my feeling used.

I think this is a VERY common trend. Once I finally realized this, I started looking for a girl who appreciated what I appreciate most about myself. It turns out, probably not surprisingly, that we often appreciate in others what we most appreciate about ourselves. So, I found a girl who is compassionate and cares about others. Then I married her. She likes the fact that I’m smart. But I’m pretty sure when I’m 85 and have dementia, she’ll still love me.

So, point three is:

First, ask what it is that you REALLY value most about yourself. Pretend for a moment that someone could (no doubt mysteriously) rob from you your qualities, attributes, and abilities one by one. Which would you miss the most? Your physical beauty? Your intelligence? Your concern for enabling others to improve themselves? Etc.

Then, find someone who values that in you.

Here’s why this works:

People change. They get old, their personalities change, etc. But we tend to preserve and hold on to the things we value most about ourselves, and these things are manifest in any situation we may be in. If somebody loves you for what you love most about yourself, they will still love you when you change. They will still love you when they begin to see those OTHER things that they don’t like so much. Also, they will honor that in you (instead of something you don’t care about).

So, it’s not about just finding something that satisfies that need (or desire). It’s about being desired in a way that you value. Find that, and you’ll be golden.

Of course, knowing yourself is not always easy, but I’m reasonably confident you have a good start.

1. i cant tutor some kids if you want to get a load off!

2. enough with all this negativity about snowboarding. i’ll teach you. i’m awesome now.