Pantala Naga Pampa

A rose by any other name smells just as sweet.

Funny How It Is April 15, 2009

Filed under: Misc. — dreambubbles @ 9:19 pm

+ Yesterday, I had a conversation with my mom about relationships. Oddly enough, I think all the mess I went through when I was younger makes my mom more confident in my judgement now. I think I have learned from previous relationships and have become smarter about certain things.

+ Math is going way over my head. Hahaha. I need to start cracking this mystery of discrete math and combinatorics. Oof. Kinda wishing I had some cryptography in my life right now instead.

+ Getting back into the swing of tutoring is exhausting. I still like tutoring for the same reasons I initially enjoyed it, but the constant reworking of my schedule according to the students’ needs is stressful and distracting. It’s all good though. Probably won’t be doing this for much longer. Another year or two at most.

 

Gloves Off April 9, 2009

Filed under: Misc. — dreambubbles @ 10:50 am

It’s been a long time. I’ve wanted to sit down to write but haven’t had the time or the motivation. But, lucky for you all, my apartment complex shut off the water from 10AM-1 PM so I have some time to kill since my whole day has to be rearranged now.

+ Math is fun except it’s mostly combinatorics right now which I absolutely despise. We proved Euler’s phi function using combinatorics, but that taste of number theory made me miss it so much. If I ever decide to go back and get a masters in math, it’s gonna be for number theory.

+ It’s spring break for my students right now. I miss them a lot and I can’t believe I won’t see my middle school students for a whole month! It’s like winter break again. When I think about my high school students I get so frustrated. I wish I could do more. My supervisor’s breathing down my back about not doing whole group instruction, but to focus on one-on-one or small group work. The problem is, the students aren’t learning anything! None of them are learning anything. Ahhh. I can’t wait to have my own classroom. Hopefully next year…

+ I still don’t have Dave tickets for this summer…I’m kinda freaking out….kind of ok with it….

+ Last Friday night I had a chance to realize who really matters to me, what calms me, and what I’ve been bottling up. It’s become increasingly obvious that I’m not firm enough about things when I make up my mind; ppl take advantage and walk all over me because they know they can. My limit’s been tested and it’s high. I forgive too easily and don’t keep records of wrongs. Typically, these would be good things, but they seem like more of a cursing. Sure, it makes other ppl happy, but at my expense. I do too many things at my expense.

+ Yesterday morning, I went to Starbucks and the guy last in line turns around before I even finish making my way through the door, and he’s trying to start a conversation with me, but I was being cold and brief so he eventually stops. As I’m waiting in line, I think to myself, “What is this guy thinking? I clearly haven’t had my morning coffee…does he think I’m in the mood for all this? But at least he got the point and stopped trying.” But then, when he orders his drink, he tells the barista, “I’m gonna get her drink too,” pointing at me. Of course, I insistently say no a few times and he makes a joke out of it, “Yeah, you wouldn’t want a creep like me buying coffee for you.” Ahhh. That’s what I don’t get! If he knows he’s being creepy and ruining my morning, why do it! Maybe I just don’t like being hit on by strangers. It seems awkward and scary. This person could be a whole mixed bag of things, and well, I was taught to not talk to strange, unknown men.

+ I need to do dishes. My kitchen is a disaster, but there’s no water. I need to shower so I can get to work, but there’s no water. Hm…what if I need to use the bathroom?  Could I flush? Ew. Ok, no liquids for a while. Hahaha.

+ I want to travel, get out of SD. I don’t have to go far….just out…for a while.