Details in the Fabric November 29, 2008

Calm down 
Deep breaths 
And get yourself dressed instead 
Of running around 
And pulling all your threads and 
Breaking yourself up 

If it’s a broken part, replace it 
But, if it’s a broken arm then brace it 
If it’s a broken heart then face it 

And hold your own 
Know your name 
And go your own way 
Hold your own 
Know your own name 
And go your own way 

And everything will be fine 
Everything will be fine 
mmmhmm 

Hang on 
Help is on the way 
Stay strong 
I’m doing everything 

Hold your own 
Know your name 
And go your own way 
Hold your own 
Know your name 
And go your own way 

And everything, everything will be fine 
Everything 

Are the details in the fabric 
Are the things that make you panic 
Are your thoughts results of static cling? 

Are the things that make you blow 
Hell, no reason, go on and scream 
If you’re shocked it’s just the fault 
Of faulty manufacturing. 

Yeah everything will be fine 
Everything in no time at all 
Everything 

Hold your own 
And know your name 
And go your own way 

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name) 
Are the things that make you panic 
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way) 

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name) 
Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way) 
Is it Mother Nature’s sewing machine? 

Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own, know your name) 
Hell no reason go on and scream 
If you’re shocked it’s just the fault (Go your own way) 
Of faulty manufacturing 

Everything will be fine 
Everything in no time at all 
Hearts will hold 

Deep Inside of You November 27, 2008

Damn. Thanksgiving is a blessing. Hahhaa. So fun! What a wonderful break from life!!!!!

Where Did My Baby Go? November 24, 2008

To further put off my paper that’s due in less than 4 hours, I was surfing through the SDUHSD website and saw that Mr. Williams was teacher of the year for 2008! How awesome is that! I’ve been meaning to go visit him to tell him about teaching and ask about Noah and Kalea (oh, they must be old now…7 and 9?? Oh dear..I knew them when they were 3 and 5). Now I can congratulate him too! I’m not surprised he’s teacher of the year. He was a great teacher; changed my life. For those who don’t know, I give him credit for putting me on this path to become a teacher. He got me tutoring students at the math tutoring center at school, which then got my private tutoring going, and that got me wanting to help students in masses. And well, vwala!

PDA November 23, 2008

Irene, look at this. It’s the breakdown of how many texts us kids sent in a month.

Michelle: 747
Angela: 385
Irene: 1,377
Wayne: 283

Who in the world are you texting?! Michelle doubles Wayne and me, but YOU DOUBLE HER!! Geez, kiddo, give your thumbs a break!

Wonderwall November 22, 2008

Yesterday was a great Friday. For starters, it was the start of my one week break from teaching and tutoring. Oh Thanksgiving, thank you.

During my lunch break yesterday, instead of going to McDonalds like I usually do I went to this Chinese restaurant one of the teachers at CHS said was good. It kind of reminded me of Double Happiness, but it doesn’t compare. Haha. The lady that was working was the owner and she could tell I was Chinese so we were chatting away in Mandarin. It was kind of fun being able to have my Chinese come in handy (in a way that my Spanish will never be used). Anyway, after she got my food she told me her name and told me to come back. Hahaha. Yay. Making friends with restaurant owners. I’m down.

Chilled at the house last night. Sooo fun. Around 2, everyone had kicked out and Van was semi passed out, but Nhan, Kunal, Shaw and I had so much fun going through my old school music on my ipod. Hahah. Too much fun…we were up until 3 laughing, feeling old and nostalgic. Good times, good times. I’m pretty tired right now though.

I can’t find Penny’s leash. It’s not hanging from where I usually keep it….it must be in my car. Hopefully.

I think her and I are gonna take a short nap right now and then I’m gonna take her to the groomers to get her nails cut. I’m hoping to get my two papers due Monday finished today but I’m pretty ADD on Saturdays.

Mmmm. My week off is already filling up and I’m very excited about it. Taco Tuesday, shopping, 007, LA, rock band, mah jong, Wally Lamb’s book, my bed. Ahh. Sucks that UCSD only gives two days off. I wish everyone else had a week off too.

Falling Off The Roof November 19, 2008

I have a few minutes before it hits 1 PM, my official nap time, so here I am.

I’ve realized that the hardest part about being a teacher is being a disciplinarian. In second period today, right away there were kids talking and arguing with each other. Kids trying to get other kids in trouble. The class wanted the teacher to send one of the kids out to a different classroom, but since I was teaching the teacher told everyone that it was my choice whether or not to send this kid out. I couldn’t do it. I told him that I’d give him another chance but that if he wanted to stay in the classroom that he’d have to show me he could sit quietly and stay on task. For the most part, the rest of the period, he was good. After class when I talked to the teacher, she said I should’ve sent him out.

Throughout class, I kept having to stop and tell the kids to quiet down. The teacher had given me pre-written passes to send the kids out. She left the classroom for a while and when she came back she said, “You haven’t sent anyone out? You’re too nice. You need to send people out.” I still didn’t. Ahhhh.

I feel like, as a teacher, you shouldn’t just send kids out if they misbehave. You especially shouldn’t send them out and never bring them back in. If i had sent these students to another classroom, I’d have no way of bringing them back; they would have missed an entire day of class. Bleh. It has to be done though. The teacher said that the students will keep pushing me to see where their boundaries and my limits are. For the sake of the class, I have to sacrifice someone. Tomorrow, I’m sending someone out. It won’t be easy, but I’m gonna do it.

I think I got my mean face down though. Crossing my arms helps too. Hahaha. Using the mean face and crossed arms worked pretty well for getting the whole class to quiet down. Using the mean face while teaching worked to get individual kids to quiet down. Although, according to my teacher, this isn’t enough. Bottom line: I have to send kids out.

I hate it. I’m not gonna do it when I have my own classroom. If anything, I’d have them go sit outside for a few minutes and them bring them back in. When I have my own classroom, I’ll set the boundaries the first week. Be a hard ass and then be me.

Math! November 19, 2008

Angela
my answer was a freaken essay
i’ll copy and paste it to you
it was godly

Wayne
no thanks

Angela
no
i’m sending it

Wayne
im deleting it

Angela
duuuuuude
you’re mean

Wayne
i’m not gonna read you math essay

Angela

 

Owned by the kid. But for the rest of you wondering: http://sg.answers.yahoo.com/question/?qid=20071130011343AAHICTB

Hahaha. It’s from a long time ago. He made a joke about how i’m such a dork i probably answer math questions on yahoo answers. He was right.

Long Black Veil November 19, 2008

I emailed Professor Evans today with info for my letter of recommendation and he emailed me a while ago saying he sent it! Oh mannn. What a champ. Hahaha. Hmm…what’s a good gift for a professor?

Let’s Stay Together November 18, 2008

I’m listening to my “Cheer Up” playlist but I’m not cheered up. I’m in bed and feeling like crap. Hahah. I must say, calling in sick to work and sleeping until 1 did do wonders but just thinking about how much stuff I need to do before the quarter ends is exhausting.

I have 5 more observations (9 hours total) to do in two weeks on top of the 6 hours a week at Farb MS and 11 hours a week at CHS. It’ll be nice to have next week off from all sorts of teaching and tutoring but it’ll also be rough cuz that means I have to squeeze everything in before the quarter ends.

I also have two more journals, one more SCP paper, and one more final to do.

All the high school kids from TP just got their quarter progress reports. That just means a greater demand from me. I don’t know how much more I can take on, but I don’t know how to turn down a student in need of help.

I feel awful cuz I can’t fully commit to work for my dad. I want to be there more than I am, but all I can seem to afford are the short 30 minutes when I whirlwind in and out of there getting things done.

Tomorrow’s Tuesday. Tuesdays are exhausting. I should sleep.

Walk Away November 16, 2008

+ I think I’m sick. I’ve still taught every day and gone into work, but oh man, my body hates me. I know I need to eat better to give myself a chance to fight this off, but I’m never hungry. Oof. Maybe I’ll have some soup. Mmm. Yeah, that sounds good. 

+ Today’s been nice. I slept in, went to work, visited Nhan at work, cleaned my apartment, and fixed my xmas lights. Now i’m doing laundry and staring at my blank word document. It’s still bank. I have nothing to write about this week for my reflection. Oof.

+ I didn’t realize, but this quarter’s almost over! Ahhh. That means 4th year is almost a third of the way through. Man. I’m getting old and doing it fast.

+ When I was driving to work today I was thinking about how I act completely differently when I’m single and when I’m in a committed relationship. I guess that’s only natural. I mean, when you’re with someone you make decisions with them in mind, you take them into consideration. When you’re single, you just do whatever you want, whenever you want. Putting it that way, it seems silly that anyone would ever want to be in a relationship. Hahaha. Jk.

+ Wayne and I had a blast after dinner last night. We took a ridiculous amount of ridiculous pictures of each other on our phones. Maybe I’ll post them some time.

Lie in Our Graves November 15, 2008

Oh mannn. I just imported the Lakers season schedule onto my iCal. Love it love it.

 

Tough beat tonight. We were so off our game… offensively AND defensively. Bummer. It’s ok though. 7-1. We’re doing well.

Everyday Is a Holiday (With You) November 14, 2008

“you should pick and choose when to say yes according to what YOU want”

 

What a lovely friend.

Attention Span November 14, 2008

+ I don’t like eating food. Nothing is appetizing to me. Eating two meals a day is a chore. Maybe my dislike for food is why I’m such a bad cook.

+ Professor Evans agreed to write a letter of recommendation for me. I love that man to shreds. I think I’ve said this before.

+ Today, I played the Jeopardy game that I made for my high school students. They liked it (especially the Cheng Challenge category!!) but I think some of the questions were too hard. I thought I had made them of reasonable difficulty level…it’s ok though! Now I know for next time. I also let the winning team from each class chose what they wanted as a prize. That’s a mistake too. It’s gonna cost me a fortune to get everyone the kind of chips, or candy, or drink they want. Oof. Next time, it’s just one type of candy for everyone. It’s ok. I teach. I learn. That’s the whole point.

The Hour I First Believed November 14, 2008

“The trouble with Lolly, I told myself, was that she’d never escaped home port. It was too bad she hadn’t gone to college. Hadn’t traveled out West and worked on one of those reservations. But because she hadn’t, she was hopelessly provincial and, well, boring.”

 

Oy. That’s me. Never left SD. Never traveled East. “…she was hopelessly provincial and, well, boring.”

Out of My Head November 14, 2008

Sometimes I feel
Like I am drunk behind the wheel
The wheel of possibility
However it may roll
Give it a spin
See if you can somehow factor in
You know there’s always more than one way
To say exactly what you mean to say

Was I out of my head? Was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever been so blind?
I was waiting for an indication
It was hard to find
Don’t matter what I say only what I do
I never mean to do bad things to you
So quiet but I finally woke up
If you’re sad then its time you spoke up too

Was I out of my head? Was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever been so blind?
I was waiting for an indication
It was hard to find
Don’t matter what I say only what I do
I never mean to do bad things to you
So quiet but I finally woke up
If you’re sad then its time you spoke up too

Was I out of my head? Was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever been so blind?
I was waiting for an invitation
It was hard to find
Don’t matter what I say only what I do
I never mean to do bad things to you
So quiet but I finally woke up
If you’re sad 
Then its time you spoke up 
Too

The Hour I First Believed November 12, 2008

Oh my god! He just brought the Birdsey twins into the novel through a flashback. I love it!!

The Hour I First Believed November 12, 2008

“Folks want to be lost for a little while, Caelum,” Grandpa Quirk said. “That’s the fun of it. And anyway, nobody likes a know-it-all.”

The Hour I First Believed November 11, 2008

Wally Lamb’s new book came out today. I woke up today, went home, chatted with my parents, took care of stuff for work, said happy bday to Wayne, ran into Eric and Kevin, then went to B&N and bought my new love.

 

Wally Lamb’s stuff is a work of genius. I wish he’d write more. This is only his third book but I have no doubt it’ll be great. He does an amazing job with character development and includes just the right amount of detail in his writing to suck the reader in. I never want to finish his books.

 

My favorite line so far, “Ask any of us cynical bastards to lift up our shirt, and we’ll show you where we got shot in the heart.”

 

Anyway, Deb, when you come home for Thanksgiving, Eric and Kevin wanna go out for drinks with us. Eric has crazy long hair now, I didn’t even recognize him. Hahaha. And yeah, they’re both on bikes now! Eric’s moved back to SD for good. Apparently he biked from Florida to Cali. Guess he really DOES have that little stuff. Hahaha. Anyway, for sure, save a night for them. It’ll be fun.

Feeling Alright November 9, 2008

Well it’s about that time for us to look around and meet somebody new
Let’s all welcome in familiar faces, perhaps somebody who,
Has got a conflict in their life
Tell them you’re sorry, but there’s ways to change the wrong to right
See we can sit in a distant haze and watch rain clouds pour thoughts of greatness and help our troubles sail real far away.
Well it’s a struggle – everyday we’re stressing, but what’s a life without dedication? 
I’m trying to pick up the souls intention to soak in music relaxation
We’re feeling good, we’re feeling alright
We’re feeling good, we’re feeling alright 
In a moment I’ll be on my way, to better days, while life is changing
And even though I’ve had my share of pain, I’ve been sympathizing and realizing
I’ve got a feeling that we can be a better friend 
Simply complimenting every now and then
In the morning I wake up and miss the night before
Cuz I love the music more and more
See we can sit in a distant haze and watch rain clouds pour thoughts of greatness to help our troubles sail real far away
While it’s a struggle everyday we’re stressing, but what’s a life without dedication? 
I’m trying to pick up the souls intention to soak in music relaxation

Yellow November 6, 2008

I have half an hour before I need to leave to go tutor to make this post. I just finished massively cleaning my apartment…now I’m hungry.

 

Teaching’s been amazing. I previously didn’t enjoy my experience at the middle school nearly as much as I liked being at a high school. I don’t know if it’s the rush of actually teaching a lesson, but I’m loving middle school. I teach both periods now every day I’m there. The kids are still pretty hyper but it definitely helps knowing their names! Lol. Yup yup yup. I’ve got all 150 of my (ms + hs) students’ names down. Hahaha. About time, right? Well, yeah, but it is hard when I don’t see them every day and never got to have a copy of the seating chart.

 

Teaching at the high school is still nice, of course, but it’s a whole different approach working with middle school and high school students. Last Friday at CHS, I got there in the morning and there was some other lady in the room observing the teacher. I didn’t think anything of it so when the bell rang I shouted over the noise in the room telling the students the warm up was on the board already and that they should have paper out already starting in on it. The observer lady flagged me over and told me she wanted to see how this teacher was leading the class alone. I was told to sit. Sitting there for an hour, not being able to help where I saw help was needed, was painful. Oof. Anyway, at the end of the period when the lady was leaving, she came over to talk to me. I told her how I was still at UCSD, doing my student teaching at Farb MS and working there at CHS twice a week. She told me that I should ask the teacher for her lesson plans ahead of time and take the reins, teach the lessons, lead the class. She told me that I’ll be a great teacher.

 

I’ve been hearing that a lot from a few teachers and people now, but I’m skeptical. I feel like all I’m doing now is classroom management. A great teacher is someone who can inspire their students to want to pursue knowledge and to get excited about what they’re learning. Great teachers see their students as individuals and treat them with the respect. These last few days I’ve been thinking that I may not want to go back to TP. It’d be a dream to teach there, but I’m not a teacher like Mr. Williams, Ms. Kilpatrick, Ms. Rall. Hmmm…but could I be…?

 

Oh a lighter note, yesterday when I was debriefing with my CT (cooperating teacher) we were talking about a student and she explained his behavior in class by saying that he had a crush on me. Hahaha. I never thought about that as an issue. A 11 or 12 year old boy having a crush on his teacher. That’s so funny.